As we enter into the new millennium, we are at the crossroads
of many events in the lives of gays and lesbians. I have
found myself at one of those. You see I decided to become
a parent and have a child with my partner of 10 years.
She would carry the child and I would be the other parent.
We agreed to be "moms" to our child. She was
born, we were happy and we prospered spiritually. But
this story saddens as my partner the biological mom, decides
to leave the relationship, promises me I would always
have access and parental rights to the child, then moves
to another state, takes our daughter and now denies me
all access or any rights. My question is "Who cares
about the rights of the child?"
My
daughter, knew me as her mom along with her biological
mother. She bonded with us both as her parents. Now she
has no say or ability to express her desires in this situation.
That is why we have laws for heterosexuals in divorce,
so the courts can help intervene when two adults can’t
work out a reasonable and fair arrangement for everyone.
Without the courts, the child of gays and lesbians are
caught up in a quandary of legal mumbo-jumbo – called
"standing." Who has standing? By Florida law,
non-biological parents do not have clear standing for
their children. I would like to see us fight for these
rights, work on getting the community to understand this
is a very emotional and potentially damaging issue to
our children. It destroys people’s lives and leaves
them emotionally spent and damaged. Who knows what the
long-term meaning is for the children?
I
will continue to fight for the rights to be active in
my daughter’s life. I hope the court will see the
need to bring the feelings of children like her into consideration.
I hope we all can have the courage to stand up and talk
in favor of these issues when they arise. I look forward
to leading an effort to get these matters in the open
and make people aware of the need for new statutes, laws,
and forums in our community to educate us about these
issues. We have to bring ourselves to a higher ground
of morality, as the laws are not there for us yet. Can
we work together, can we trust each other, how can we
help make this change together?
Lisa
Coons-Andersen
Deacon Joy MCC
